July 27, 2017

Di belakang telingamu

adalah persisiran

dan

di dalam lautan rambutmu 

aku mencelup kaki 

duduk 

hingga kecut jemari

dengan alur alur terbentuk

persis pasir diukir ombak

menitip rindu dari dasar. 

Wani Ardy

July 21, 2017

Ayah pernah kata- orang yang pernah merasai kemiskinan dan berjaya keluar daripada kemiskinan, dia akan jadi antara dua benda:

1) he learns from the experience; becomes stronger and kinder


OR


2) he doesn't learn from the experience; becomes heartless and proud

I believe the same goes for depression.

Just because you don't have depression, it doesn't give you the license to talk shit about those who do.

Just because something doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is not about you.

And having success over depression does not give you the privilege to talk shit about those who are still battling or those who have lost their battles. People don't need to live by your standards. This is not about you.

You don't get to decide what is real and what is not. The way people with depression don't get to decide whether they have it or not. What they can decide is how they handle it and what works really differs depending on the individual. You don't get to put a template because the...

July 20, 2017

To grow up with your music was a privilege.
To replay your songs was a secret pleasure.
To have your albums accompanying my lonesome bus and train rides was a comfort.
To wake up to today's news was devastating.

July 18, 2017

Sebenarnya saya ada banyak cerita murung hari ini... but no, I think I am going to share about something positive. And important.

Semalam dan kelmarin saya ke jabatan ginekologi di sebuah hospital swasta untuk pemeriksaan peribadi. See- all my life, I had lived in various places, visited various hospitals, and at every hospital, upon check up, I will usually have to explain my condition. I have MRKH Syndrome and I identify myself as intersex female. Saya perlu jelaskan kerana hampir semua doktor yang merawati saya tidak biasa dengan sindrom ini dan kalaupun ada yang pernah dengar, mereka tidak tahu info lanjut, dan selalunya saya penghidap pertama/kedua yang pernah mereka temui.

Semalam begitu juga. "It happens to 1 in every 5000 women? That's not very rare. Can't believe I've never heard of it." Sudah tentu saya tidak salahkan beliau kerana ada berjuta jenis sindrom di dunia ini, manalah terhafal semuanya. (2 of my younger siblings are doctors; saya nampak kepayahan mereka.) The doctor...

July 10, 2017

Siri bengkel bersama Fazleena Hishamuddin dan Wani Ardy kembali lagi :)Meminjam semangat #PondokPuisi, kali ini kami berkongsi ilmu atas undangan @poetxpodcast, @monstersamongus17, dan @asterikanakseni. Ikuti akaun media sosial mereka untuk info lanjut serta daftar di https://form.jotform.me/71874437994474. Jangan lepaskan peluang dan jangan segan untuk belajar; kami mengalu-alukan penyertaan tanpa mengira usia, bangsa, latarbidang dan sebagainya. Cikgu-cikgu dah tak sabar nak jumpa awak semua!

UPDATED ON AUGUST 5:

PERCUMA kerana yuran telah ditaja oleh penganjur. No registration, just walk in and join the class!

July 9, 2017

"And O listener, (followers of the Prophet) most of the people on earth are such that were you to obey them, they would mislead you from Allah’s way; they follow only assumptions and they only make guesses."

"Dan jika kamu menuruti kebanyakan orang-orang di muka bumi ini, niscaya mereka akan menyesatkanmu dari jalan Allah. Mereka tidak lain hanyalah mengikuti persangkaan belaka, dan mereka tidak lain hanyalah berdusta (terhadap Allah)."

Surah Al-An'am

Verse 116

July 8, 2017

Most of the time I don't really believe in true love. I think it's just an idea or a concept to make people feel good and better, which is not at all wrong, only I don't buy it. To me, what happens is simply two humans surviving each other's words and actions till the day they die. That's it. Happiness is not a top priority. If we have food on the table, roof above our heads, clothes to wear, we're very blessed. What else could we ask for? When I look at those people in war and refuge, I feel ashamed. I should be counting every little thing that Allah SWT is lending me while I am still alive. The fact that right now I have the time and tools to actually sit and reflect about the existence of true love is already a privilege, a luxury. They can't afford that. I have something that others can't afford. The only thing I should be feeling is grateful.

July 7, 2017

Rumah Ipoh's VFAQ:

Q: B&B? Dia macam homestay eh? Or hotel?
A: Tak. Homestay is where you get the home, the house, all to yourself. B&B stands for bed and breakfast. Kami sediakan katil/tilam dan sarapan saja. Hos atau tuan rumah tinggal sebumbung. We can hear what you do at night and knock on your door. Kidding.

Q: Ada berapa jenis bilik, boleh muat berapa orang, and berapa harga satu malam?
A: Ada dua buah bilik saja iaitu Bilik Orked (standard room - 2pax) and Bilik Jason (mixed dormitory - 4pax). Harga bergantung pada tarikh dan bilik, boleh baca di fb.com/rumahipoh. The "about" section. Sebenarnya hampir semua info ada di situ. I is sad why nobody wants to check before asking. Sobs.

Q: Why so cheap? Got ghost ah? Or this place is so far issit? What to do in Ipoh, anyway?
A: No, don't have ghost. Walaupun rumah ini dibina pada era 50an, kami tidak sediakan perkhidmatan hiburan rumah hantu. Murah sebab tak ada wifi (tapi ada banyak buku), tak ada air conditioner (tapi ada kipas dan ban...

July 6, 2017

Ada sawah bendang dan gunung ganang yang terlukis di belakangmu,

bernafas

dan mengekori ke mana saja kautuju.

Aku harus cepat cepat menggulung lukisan itu

dan sisipkan ia ke dalam pembuluh darahku

sebelum rindu berkunjung lagi;

menunggu nyawa disuntik kembali.

Wani Ardy

July 5, 2017

Maybe I don't say "I miss you" but if you look closely, you could read it everywhere in my writings. Maybe I don't say "I love you" but if you listen carefully, you could hear it in the way I speak to you every time, or in the way I sing. Maybe I don't say (and will never feel worthy enough to say) "yes, it's you, it has always been you" but if you stay instead of leaving, you could find yourself in everything I am making.

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