November 30, 2019

Today was supposed to be my one and only free day with no work and no event. I've listed all sorts of things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go to. I thought I finally could explore this city. But ended up I didn't. I'm too tired. Mentally and physically. My head and body are aching all over. Didn't go to the state library, didn't go to the artists' market, didn't go to the local bookshop. Just bought stuff for my son and my nieces during the day, dinner out at night, then hours of walking and tramming aimlessly alone. Feeling heavy and constantly spacing out.

I think I need to rest. Maybe it's time to go home.

November 29, 2019

I had never been invited and featured in a private multi-arts networking soiree before. What a great concept of exchanging knowledge and ideas, and what a diversed community of creative people. Glad I made the trip to Hawthorn. Of course I used the opportunity to share my MRKH-themed poems. This is my way of appreciating the individuals and organisations that have sponsored my trip here as an MRKH advocate, while still growing as an artist myself. I also performed my signature song 'Gelombang Dasar Laut' although none of them understood the language, but they said they loved how it made them feel. Thank you, #BelleEpoch. ❤️

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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

November 29, 2019

Back then during my postgraduate years in Sydney, I used to crash into open mic gigs. Alone. Always the ones at bookshops and cafes. Didn't have the balls to try out the ones at pubs and bars. But I'm in Melbourne now and I'm no longer in my 20s so what the heck. Yea. Your random kebaya tudung Muslim girl has just performed her MRKH-themed poems at one of local's oldest Irish pubs in front of cute bald-headed, white-bearded, beer-drinking grandpas. Alone. Ok not all grandpas but prolly 70% of the audience. "That was beautiful. I'm in my 70s and I never knew there's such condition!" said one of them. Well, cute grandpa, now you know! They were really nice and wanted to buy me beer but obviously I don't take alcohol so I missed that one lol
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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

November 29, 2019

Hello Melbourne! Anybody wants to get copies of my book #theartoflettinggod, please come to the poetry reading at Dan O'Connell Hotel today. (People who have bought them yesterday at the conference, thank you so much!) I'll be at Carlton 2 - 4pm then off to Hawthorn for a private multi-arts networking event. These will be my second and third (last) performance in Melbourne. Let's go!

November 28, 2019

It's almost 1am here in Melbourne and I'm still feeling very overwhelmed by today's event. I will share more pictures and write more soon. But I can't go to sleep without saying thank you to these powerhouse women first: Ally Hensley and Kristy Siiankoski 🇦🇺 Amy Lossie and Christina Martin 🇺🇸 thank you for thinking that I am worthy enough to be part of this great conference. Not only did I get to speak on behalf of my Malaysia 🇲🇾 in front of a whole auditorium, I also got to be part of a panel discussion which was watched by people from so many different countries. This entire experience has been crazy. If I could tell 17 year-old Wani that someday she'll be doing this, she'd say I'm crazy.
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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

November 28, 2019

I was shaking all the way and I tried super hard to stay composed. As I was choking up on emotions, I decided to complete my speech with a poem. Alhamdulillah. I think I did it.
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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

November 27, 2019

(I've just slammed and performed my poem! My first time in English! My first time in Australia! My first time ever slamming! There were 16 crazy good poets it was gila nerve-wracking I want to pengsan thank God dah habis!

Update: I'm on to the second round! WHAT?!)

//

First time performing my poetry in Melbourne. Of course it got to be at the Slamalamadingdong! Wicked space, fun crowd. Felt like I was sharing my MRKH-themed poems under a circus tent, with actual stars in it. Like stars stars. Not people stars. You get what I mean? Oh nvm. Thank you Slamalamadingdong family for making this lonesome random hijabi kebaya jawa girl feel welcomed.
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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

#sindrommrkh
#mrkhmalaysia
#mrkhsyndrome
#mrkhawareness

November 25, 2019

Salam sejahtera, keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Syukur, atas restu yang Maha Menentu, esok saya bakal berangkat secara solo ke bumi Australia untuk berucap di persidangan Global MRKH Day 2019 mewakili Malaysia tercinta. Apart from this conference, I will be sharing my MRKH-themed poems at various art and poetry events around Melbourne throughout the whole week. Sudilah kiranya kalian mendoakan perjalanan dan keselamatan saya. Mudah-mudahan pengembaraan kecil ini membawa ilmu dan kebaikan yang boleh saya kongsi dengan semua. Insyaallah.

Kasih dan ikhlas,
Wani Ardy
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#WaniArdyMenjejakMelbourne supported by friends of MRKH Malaysia, Malaysian Rare Disorders Society (MRDS), and Awareness on Suicide Malaysia (AWAS Malaysia)

November 25, 2019

Parenting is tricky. I myself have only been a parent for 7 years which means I'm a newbie compared to those with grown-up children. Kita selalu dengar orang cakap- "dulu aku membesar gitu gini, aku turn out okay je" atau "mak bapak aku dulu buat aku gitu gini, aku alright je." Hakikatnya, benda biasa belum tentu benda betul. Old ways (or new ways) are not always the best. There's room for improvement, no matter how experienced. Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. Parents are only humans. Parents make mistakes too. Most mistakes began with good intentions, tapi niat baik tak menghalalkan cara.

Through my experience of consulting and educating parents of MRKH girls, biasanya ibu bapa ni ada dua jenis: 1) Jenis tak nak deal with the issue, comfortable staying in denial, tak nak panjangkan cerita. 2) Jenis panicky, protective, berfikir jauh ke kutub utara. Jenis nombor dua ni yang selalu tak benarkan anak berkahwin. "I don't want my daughter to get hurt." Ibu bapa pada anak yang normal pu...

November 23, 2019

I must be honest- speaking about redefining family, marriage, parenthood, and motherhood to THE Lembaga Penduduk dan Pembangunan Keluarga Negara (LPPKN) was scary. I'm talking about a conventional government body here. Tapi ini perlu. Sebab saya tak boleh buat seorang diri. Kerja membentuk mentaliti masyarakat bukan kerja satu orang atau satu hari. And this isn't just for MRKH Syndrome, but all DSDs (disorders in sexual development) that cause infertility. Infertiliti tak buat kita mati. Asal selalu berbalik pada asas:

Allah Maha Baik.
Maksudnya, apa pun bentuk kejadian kita, ada hikmah dan kebaikan di sebaliknya. His test is His love. His plan is the best. Just because you don't see the kebaikan and the hikmah just yet, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Tuhan tak pernah jadikan seseorang / sesuatu dengan sia-sia. Dia tak cipta kita untuk aniaya kita. Berhenti bersangka buruk.

Allah Maha Kuasa.
Maksudnya, kejadian kita ni macam-macam. Beza-beza. Ada orang beranak ramai. Ada orang ber-a...

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