My songs are suicide

This may sound overdramatic or syok sendiri but honest to God, I die a little inside every time I sing my songs. Maybe not exactly all of them but most of them, yes. Including this one, Lampu Jalan. Awak mungkin rasa benda ni awesome atau cool tapi sebenarnya saya naik letih, awak. It's emotionally and mentally consuming. Like seriously Wani dah berapa tahun kau nyanyi lagu-lagu ni takkan nak menangis dalam hati lagi? I guess the problem with being a songwriter is that you feel too much it's almost like a curse. Mungkin lebih elok lain kali jangan tulis lagu yang based on real people and true stories. That way you won't picture their faces or whatever memories that are eating you inside, okay Wani?