'Right' Doesn't Always Start Right & Isn't Always Alright
The year I quit lecturing was also the year I started advocating. Sounds like a noble coincidence but... no. Not at all. It happened on purpose. I did it on purpose. I wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to feel... useful. Leaving a permanent job in the education field after almost 10 years being in it, did make me question my worth. And my use. Like- am I still an important human being in this world if I stop contributing to the society? Am I wasting myself away? It was a stupid, selfish thought. I started advocating to feed my own ego and needs. Yes. That's the cold truth. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ But then slowly, as years passed by, I learned how my work could actually help people. And so I started doing it for people. For kindness. For God's blessings. It has not been an easy ride. Creating awareness and educating the public on something as taboo and private as a rare disorder in sexual development when you are a Muslim / Malaysian / Malay / hijabi / anak pak haji can be... very challenging. In fact there were times when I felt like I wanted to quit. But whenever the going gets tough, that's when I know that I'm doing the right thing. That I'm on the right track. Hopefully.