Angels

Yesterday, one of my school friends lost her 3 day-old child. 9 months through pregnancy and the baby came out perfectly beautiful, then off she went into God's heavenly arms. Just 3 days old. I could hardly sleep after hearing the news. Hours later it rained and I found myself crying while driving, imagining myself in her place. As I age, I realize I have more and more girlfriends who experience stillbirth or miscarriage, sometimes again and again, and the strength of these ladies amazes me. I don't know how you girls do it. I don't know how did you survive going through such difficult test. In my late teens, when the doctor announced that I have an organ missing and I can never get pregnant- saya terduduk. It felt like all the babies in my dreams have died all at once. When I was trying to adopt, thrice, and I was already on my way to pick up my babies and bring them home, dengan barang dah siap, berminggu berbulan dah berangan, then suddenly they said my babies had been taken- saya terduduk. It almost felt like a miscarriage though I don't even know how a miscarriage feels like. I don't know how it'd be if I had to go through an actual miscarriage. I probably won't have your courage. The loss and grief that you had to endure was beyond words. To these amazing women, these amazing mothers; you are one of life's unsung heroes. Thank you for being you. My respect and prayer goes out to your mind, body, and soul. Your love is waiting for you in the hereafter, and your patience... is gold.


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