My Tudung Story

(Bismillah) In the seventh issue of CQ Malaysia, Fikri Jermadi invited me to talk about my path towards covering up. My tudung journey was not a smooth sailing one and I believe many girls could relate to it, iA.

My first time wearing tudung was at school, as requested by my father, so I took it as- "lebih sopan timba ilmu dengan tutup aurat." Uncomfortable, I took it off during P.E., Sports Day, and co-curricular activities. After high school I got into uni and left my tudung behind. I only wore it to religious events and family occasions to please my father. My mother was aware of this, not happy with it, but gave in. I always felt like the most disappointing daughter in the world. Soon I graduated and moved out, working-teaching-performing here and there without tudung. My father found out through YouTube and concluded- "pandai pandai bawa diri." It's strange how the feeling of wanting to wear tudung for real started when I was living in Sydney. A Muslim, an Asian, a minority. I rediscovered the beauty of my religion and the greatness of my Creator when I was the smallest. I developed a new sense of appreciation towards Islam and being a Muslim. In many ways I'm grateful I was lost cause by that I found my way home.

Today I'm not wearing it simply because I'm used to it or of anyone's expectation; today I'm finally wearing it because my heart is happy to and because of my love for my Creator. I still have a super long way to go of course, covering the hair part alone is far from sufficient, but it's a big deal and a huge leap for me. I'm a struggler who's learning to be better everyday. May Allah strengthen our iman and guide us all with love and light.

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Issuu: issuu.com/cqmag/docs/cq__7/14 PDF: goo.gl/0dr1aN Web: cqmalaysia.com