Apa Bendanya Female Empowerment Ni?
Female empowerment. Female empowerment. Female empowerment.
Apa bendanya female empowerment ni? Why is it so important that many women talk about it?
I cannot speak on behalf of all women, but I think I can speak on behalf of girls and women who are/feel different. Especially girls and women with DSDs (differences/disorders in sexual development = kelainan pada perkembangan seksual = tiada rahim, tiada vagina, tiada ovari, khunsa, dan sebagainya).
When a DSD girl or woman feels powerless or inadequate because of her condition, dia akan letakkan nilai yang salah pada diri dia. Nilai yang lebih rendah daripada yang sepatutnya. Because she feels less of a woman. Maybe less of a human too. Sebab dia berbeza berbanding orang lain.
Bila dia salah nilai diri dia, dia akan benarkan orang buli dia. Masyarakat, kawan, pasangan, malah keluarga. Verbally, mentally, emotionally, or physically. Orang dera, dia okay. Orang cabul, dia diam. Enabling bullies will encourage the breeding of assholes. Assholes are people who think they are superior than others. Assholes are not good for our society.
Bila dia salah nilai diri dia, dia juga akan buat keputusan-keputusan dan pilihan-pilihan yang salah dalam hidup dia. She will abuse her reasoning skills and use her condition to justify every mistreatment. She will just settle and not choose the best things/people for herself/her life, because she does not believe that she deserves them. Bad decisions and bad choices will lead to health problems, career crisis, family setbacks, marital issues, domestic abuse, criminal cases, and the list goes on.
Bila dia salah nilai diri dia, dia akan rasa macam mangsa sepanjang masa. We don't need women who 'play victim' all the time. No, not even women with DSDs. Sorry, but feeling sorry for yourself does not contribute to the community or even to yourself. Orang takda mata pun boleh kerja elok, orang takda kaki pun boleh panjat gunung. So 'victims', you need to start picking your sad ass up.
Again, I do not speak on behalf of all women, but as an MRKH advocate, saya berani kata bahawa pemerkasaan wanita agak berkesan dalam kumpulan sokongan kami.
Setakat ini, wanita-wanita MRKH Malaysia yang suaminya nak berkahwin lagi, mereka semua tidak 'lepas tangan' pada kemahuan yang bukan pilihan mereka sendiri. Mereka ada pilihan untuk bermadu atau bercerai, dan setakat ini mereka memilih yang kedua, dengan rasa tanggungjawab terhadap kebajikan diri. I secretly feel proud (in a bersyukur way, not in a bongkak way) that they are capable of at least choosing their own path and taking charge of their own lives.
This is NOT a glorification of divorce or an anti-polygamy thingy. Divorce is NOT fun; it's a painful process with lifelong effects. And I do have close relatives who practice polygamy correctly. But here's my point:
Kalau suami awak mampu, zahir-batin-mental-fizikal, dan awak juga sanggup, maka teruskanlah. Alhamdulillah, bahagian pahala awak di situ. Insyaallah. Tapi kalau hati awak tak redha dan tak ikhlas, suami pula tak mampu selain air liur dan gaji bulanan tanpa wang simpanan, maka tak perlulah hulur tengkuk... just because you're a different kind of woman.
Female empowerment dakyah feminis barat yadi yadi yada? Depends on how you see it and define it. The way I see it, beribu tahun lalu, Khadijah isteri Nabi Muhammad SAW dah girl-power dulu sebelum girl-power jadi pop culture (kalau awak baca). So yeah, it's important. Pemerkasaan wanita boleh (dan sudahpun) membasmi banyak kebodohan di dunia. Saya percaya. Dan saya usaha.
Masih belajar, Wani Ardy
